I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
