so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
