I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
