i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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