Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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