My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
