I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
