Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
