I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I think your dad took our porno
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
