just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
