Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
