I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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