my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
thus making me awesome and them whores
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I had to cum in my sink.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
