make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
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