i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Randomize
