butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
