I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
