how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I wish i was in the wii world.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
