No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
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