break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
