I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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