I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
