I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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