You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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