i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
