I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
