All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
