You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
