Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
