Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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