I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We're too hungover to prance.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
