Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
