Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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