the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
