I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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