You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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