There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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