how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
