You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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