All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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