You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Randomize
