I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
