Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
