These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
