Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
This is my gift to your gina
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
