he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
