Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
