Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
