as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
