I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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